Kitchen Sink?

 

See this?

It's a pen knife. You pull the blade out and cut things with it.

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This is also, technically, at least, a pen knife. However, I get the feeling it does rather more than just cut things...

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This, my friends, is the new SwissChamp XAVT from Victorinox, the folks who make the world famous Swiss Army knives. As you can see from the picture (click it for a larger view, as per usual), it stretches the term 'pocket knife' somewhat. Having said that, at $425, it's going to stretch your budget too...

This little beast, while being almost square in profile manages to cram in 80 'essential' features. No, I'm not going to list them, but you can read more about it here. Then again, do you really need a pen knife with a pharmaceutical spatula?

And what the hell IS a pharmaceutical spatula anyway?

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I think the only whittling you're likely to do with this is eat away at your savings....